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Body Positive Thougts
How to be happy today
Recovered Bulimics/Addicts 
28th-May-2008 07:11 pm
lotus
My thought might upset some people, but I just want to get something off my chest:

I desperately want to meet a recovered bulimic who isn't fat, who doesn't still compulsively overeat, and who hasn't just switched addictions (i.e. now they just drink instead of eating or now they are anorexic & don't eat at all).

That's probably a horrible thing to say, but from where I stand, it's true. It's just so frustrating & upsetting to try to recover when it seems like there is no hope of being recovered without being humongous.

It's probably just my eating disorder talking & maybe part of being recovered is being able to accept being overweight, but it seems to me that the few people that I have seen who are in recovery just aren't fully recovered. They just stopped purging and now they either eat or get drunk.

Is there no hope? Is there no one to look up to? No real life role models who can say, "I did it & so can you!"

If they are out there, maybe they just leave the recovery circles and never look back. I can't say I blame them.

Thanks for listening.
Comments 
29th-May-2008 09:13 am (UTC)
I was ana and 104 @ 5"4'. I started getting healthy six years ago and am about 125/130. I was 120, my doctors goal weight, then I fell in love, he moved in, we're happy and both gained five to ten pounds in the past two years. I'm still ocd but it's not nearly as bad, the insomnia went away and I sleep like a champ! The major stressor in my life (alcoholic father) was resolved about the same time it was pointed out to me that I had a problem and I think that made a HUGE difference in my recovery.
30th-May-2008 12:57 am (UTC)
That's what concerns me about trying to recovery. That I could swap one problem with another, which how I'm sure my ED escalated.
17th-Nov-2008 08:48 am (UTC)
As bad as this sounds, i totally agree with u, everyone i know who has dealt with bulimia or any type of eating disorder thats recovered is generally overweight.

It confuses me as to wether its due to my distorted view of peoples body image or wether its because they really are lazy and use the excuse of "oh i used to have an eating disorder" in order to make it ok that there not thin and make others think oh well im glad there not 30kg anymore etc

When u find the answer let me know lol, i think about this stuff constantly!
3rd-Apr-2011 04:18 am (UTC)
I think this is pretty insulting,,, I googled "overweight as recovered bulimic" because i do find it very hard to keep my weight into average although i am only a few pounds over. But I cant diet,,, I will end up sick again.
And this makes me "humungous?!" I have given up everything i knew in the hope of being happy and its so so difficult and to come across a page saying theres no hope if all you see are people like me??
I hope no more people like me come across this.
Think before you post maybe?
4th-Apr-2011 01:34 am (UTC)
Wow, I wrote that post a really long time ago, when I was much sicker than I am now. I am sorry that you found it so upsetting.

At this point, I would say I am a recovered bulimic, and a few pounds overweight. But I don't have the same judgement for myself and others that I used to have, a lot of that came through lots of 12-step recovery and therapy and just living life.

I think the biggest point of growth I have found in my journey is a level of acceptance for life on life's terms. I have come to accept that the best I can hope for in the constant struggle with my addiction is a daily reprieve from the obsession, contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. This means that I will often struggle with craving, but I don't have to give in to it, and I will experience freedom from it from time to time.

Additionally, I have much more acceptance of my body and myself and others around me. As long as I am healthy and able to do the things I love to do (run, hike, walk, etc.), I don't really care if am a up a couple pounds or down a couple of pounds. I am much happier enjoying the things my body can do for me, rather than trying to fit in a pair of skinny jeans that just won't zip up.

I hope that you can find the a level of compassion for yourself, and recognize that my original post was a voice of sickness and suffering, and not reality.
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